17

 when everyone your age

wants time to just slow down 

17 and driving

with a job on the weekends 

17 and friends to hangout with

school every morning 

and a bedroom door you can close when you come home

but i've been stuck in this open room

since i could remember 

and sitting on the other side of the open door

wanting it to crush me

and god i just want time to speed up for once

instead of slowing down and making me remember the mistakes 

of every single moment i have spent trapped in this house and my brain

give me my 20s

so i can live a life worth dying for

instead of writing a life i have not been living

and wishing away every single day

until i can be busy again

to distract me from these thoughts.