Love Me

 Before I decided to love me,

looking in the mirror wasn't so easy.

Deciding what I’d like to eat

became a chore that left me in defeat,

because no matter what I chose

 I’d be wrong.

Laying on the floor in my own sweat and misery

I thought, meant I was strong

but I was just feeding the inner demons

that were starving me.

And before I decided to love me

the eleven year old girl was the one to blame

every hideous thing I found in myself

I piled on her in a heap of shame.

And before I decided to love me

I decided to throw away my body

because if someone doesn’t want it

then I don’t want myself.

And before I decided to love me

the camera on my phone would never leave me alone,

telling me that what I see is what I am

and what I want is nothing I could be.

But that was before I decided to love me.